RANT - Windows 7 update hell.

[Brink]

Windows 7. Yes I know there are newer os versions for a long time now. But folks seem to like windows 7. Maybe it's a misguided attempt to hold on to the past, maybe they are afraid of change or maybe they tried the free windows 10 when it was offered and simply didn't like it. But for whatever reason I still find myself installing windows 7 and the subsequently ending up in update hell.

Now -
Of course I installed a version that has sp1 already in it.
I have also used the windows update troubleshooter both from the UVK and from microsoft's website.
I attempted to apply the update rollup found here: https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/kb/3185278
I tried the WSUS offline updater found here: http://wsusoffline.net/

No matter the route I try for updates they take forever. I know that I just need to exercise patience and it will eventually complete but damn. I don't want these machines on my bench for days and days waiting for updates to complete. Is there a realistic option? sp2? It's really sad that an operating system that is slated for support for 3 more years does not have a current service pack for the previous 5 years up to now.

Yes I know how to work a search engine and I'll eventually get around to rolling that rollup into my install disk. I'm just frustrated and wanted a place to vent. So thanks for letting me.

[Fred]

Hey Brink.

TTS has a few tools that usually fix that issue pretty well for me:

Update Client for Windows 7
Windows 7 KB3020369 update
Latest IE for Windows 7
Windows 7 KB3125574 rollup
Windows 7 KB3172605 rollup

I like to do it in this order, and may need to reboot once or two between the updates, but WU always works fine for me afterwards.

Hope it helps.

[reggaemanu]

You can also prepare an install media with all updates already integrated with DISM. (It take times to integrate them and keep it up to date I know, but you will save so much time after that it worth it)
I do that for every windows version, so no matter if I install a windows 7, 8.1 or 10 it is almost up to date when I install it.
For me wsusoffline is only useful for computers that came in really outdated.

[Charger440]

Manu

That's not a bad idea but I liked it better when you could slipstream windows....

The following site has the two updates you need. Just install in order from smallest file size to largest.

http://wu.krelay.de/en/

I have used this on several computers and it drops the initial update from "forever!" to about 10 minutes or so.

If the update wants to "search for updates longer than a minute on either one of the two then run the command below from an elevated prompt and re-run the update again. It will just right into updating.

net stop wuauserv

[stro]

yep, KB3020369, then KB3172605 right after a fresh reload, no network plugged in.

If you forget and have it plugged into internet, or if this is a machine that comes in the door crawling, disconnect it from the network, stop the Windows update service, blow away Software Distribution, start the Windows update service, then install the two updates.

If the machine has touched the internet, the two updates that fix the problem can still take hours to install, otherwise they install in less than 3 minutes.

[Brink]

Thanks for all the good advice by the four of you. I appreciate it.

[Morronic]

I'm sorry i'm late to the party but if anyone else has issues here is the fix.
Install the patch and reboot. Then try updates again. You must do this on all new Windows 7/Server 2008 R2 installs.

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/kb/3102810

[LarryTheComputerGuy]

What made it quicker for me... Is that I syspreped fully updated fresh installs of Windows 7 "Home & Pro, I then made an image of the syspreped installs. So when I have to do fresh installs... I restore the image to the drive, and with an answer file, It takes about 20 minutes and how ever long it takes to get the few updates that are needed. Done!